Be Our Guest!

Recently I was in the fortunate position of being able to help my sister out by looking after her 3 year old daughter for a few days.  My sister needed to go on an impromptu business trip abroad during term time.  I wondered if going from a clan of 3 to 4 for a few days would make that much difference to what is already a hustle-bustle household. I weighed it up and decided it would likely be less of a struggle as the bulk of the trip fell into the weekend and so at least there wouldn't be too much of an impact on work and the various school runs.  My niece, is an adorable thing and always slots right into my clan and so I had no worries there.  Even though I would need to incorporate the distance of her school from my home, I felt fine knowing it was likely she might be a little late-she wasn't taking GCSE's!

Fast forward to four days later and I shake my head at how much I underestimated the amount of planning that could have helped me along.  Despite being a hands-on mother to three, just the slight adjustment to the household by one more child changed the dynamics completely!  This mattered less over the weekend when the routines of my boys are easily manipulated; juggling tuition with swimming/football practice and of course the school fair too.  The weekends are busy but they are also sociable in my household.  They provide an opportunity to catch your breath and grab any information from all members of the household that may have gone amiss during the weekday rush.  It's also a time for family to catch up.  Even as I read over what I've just typed, I have to acknowledge that sure is a whole lot of stuff!  Somehow, it fits into those very short but very longed-for weekends.

So what did I learn about myself as I temporarily turned from a mother of three to four and then back again?            I realised that I'm no match for Maria Von Trapp.                I'm definitely not as organised as I thought!  My planning and structure are very much rooted in my mind and although there are some very clear and defining rules and schedules for the kids to follow like bedtime and homework time, there's definitely room for improvement.  Now I'm convinced that using a simple pencil and paper method would have made things clearer.  Admittedly, this was new to me and so, I won't be too hard on myself as I was adapting to a new situation that didn't last long.  However, I do find that with every experience there is something to take away and sometimes share with others.  So here are my take-aways from a fun and thoroughly exhausting (extended) weekend.

                                             

1) Plan ahead                                            

The saying 'If you fail to plan,  you plan to fail' comes to mind for this weekend in question.  If you are expanding your household for the holidays that are creeping up, this might be something to really hone in on.  The price you pay for not arranging some kind of activity or fun when you have more children under your roof than usual is a great one! Now, I'm a great believer in children creating their own entertainment-more on that in this post here but for a four day period, (more if it's holiday time) most children across the age bands will need some assistance. 

Our weekend was broken up and consisted of down time, homework time and social time.                 Down time encouraged the children to find things to do by themselves and this could include anything from board games, playing in the garden, watching a TV show, reading a book or digging into the Boredom Box.

Homework time means exactly that and can occupy you as much as it does the children, depending on their ages.                                   

For us, we were able to divide most homework tasks into two categories of independent and team work, thus allowing us parents to get on with cooking, cleaning or admin of our own.  Social time is as you can imagine everybody's favourite as it commits us to relax with a movie or engage together in an outing or sport where we all get involved.  Our school fair was a family affair! It was great fun supporting our school and all of the children found something of interest there.  We also visited some family and the cousins and siblings were able to spend quality time playing together. 

By planning things out this way, there was no time for the children to get bored. I had a structured weekend where I could tick a few things off my to-do list whilst the children were occupied and we all felt fulfilled because there was at least one activity that everybody got to enjoy together.

2) Stock up that fridge!

Meals, snacks and nibbles are a must when the kiddy numbers rise.  A traditional pattern I have noticed is that when children have little to do they get bored (of course) or hungry (True!).  These are the killers of peace and calm feelings for me and my fellow practitioners!  Once you have tip number one covered, make a list of must-have munchies to store before your arrivals get to you.

If you are less familiar with the new additions, make sure to check what their favourite foods are in advance and of course what they have to stay away from.  The more notice you have of their arrival, the better, as this gives you a greater opportunity to get it right.  I spend lots of time with my niece and so I'm familiar with her food habits and I was able to meal plan in advance which is such a useful habit that I recently started to build upon. Once you know what your guests are likely to eat, less time is wasted trying to coax and bribe them to finish a meal you've been spending hours creating in the kitchen only for your precious ones to push it away without a second glance.

3) Remain flexible

You might not get to send that email after all

Sometimes your guests have not prepared their young minds for an extensive stay away from home.  They may after a few days or even hours feel the pangs of home sickness kicking in and begin longing for their own bed, toys and parents.  My little niece was fine for the weekend but once Monday rolled around the corner she began to take stock of things.  Her own routine meant being in her own house and eating at her own dining table and leaving for school from there.  Now that she had started to miss her mum, she was missing all her normal structure too.  At this point, I had to change my structure a little bit and give her a bit more focus.  I comforted and pampered her more to help dull the distance she was feeling from home. 

Your guest may be used to taking a nap twice a day for example and this may be incredibly inconvenient for you and your established schedule but, if you can find a way to make it work, your young one will thank you for it by being an easy house guest.  Perhaps allow the naps but cut them short or arrange for the naps to be at a different time of day.  Whatever you do, remain open to putting your guest's needs into serious consideration.

4. Be considerate

I kept my niece going with lots of distractions and cuddles but  despite my comforting hugs and reassurances, she was waiting for normality to resume and was glad when it did.  My niece loved staying with me and we loved having her but when she began pining for home, I reminded my boys we needed to be mindful of her age and be considerate to her needs.  We tried to be open to new ideas like spending time doing girly things with her (which we only occasionally do in my boy-heavy household). 

                                              

Finally, accommodate your guests as best as you can, change and act like a tree that bends in the wind, be flexible.