Is Your Child a Great Team Player?

One of the key values we love to instil in our students here at SWP is the ethic of good team work. For most of us being part of a team, brotherhood, a unit, feels 'right'. We are drawn towards being cogs in a unit that ticks over and brings forth productivity in different ways.  In the workplace, in the canteen or in the playground, humans are drawn to one another.  This is natural for children also.   We encourage them to make friends from an early stage in various settings for fear of them being an outsider, a loner, and without company to play with.  This natural instinct that we feel we need to respond to occurs because we know that socialising with others is a natural part of life.  Humans are interactive beings and thrive better in the company of others even if that is just one other person.     We need to plant the social skills at a young age so that as the children grow, they can begin to develop those skills and really hone in on what it is to be a good sibling, friend, co worker and team player.

                                           

Being as strong as your weakest link is a sound reality when you are working towards a group project that will eventually become public.  Your treasured craft that you may have toiled over for hours with children that may or may not have the role that they had set their heart on, is placed gently in the public arena for your audience to love or loathe!  It is a daunting prospect if the group hasn't gelled in the way one might hope.  So how can we adults assist in the process of great team building without seeming too overbearing? How can we coach our children and teach them how to be great team players?  Here is our insight. 

1. Give reminders of  what it felt like in the past for your child to be a good friend and then expand upon that.  They may have no understanding of what differentiates a good friend from a good team player at this stage, so use language that will make sense to each individual child.  Remind your child of a time when they displayed good team qualities.  Even toddlers can be taught excellent team building skills.  After all, sharing, turn taking and problem solving are all core values that help strengthen a good team. 

2. Show and lead by example.  At home, demonstrate team work in the kitchen with your spouse or another adult to show it matters even for grown ups to be cooperative.  Demonstrate it in your telephone conversations by showing what a great listener you are, put your (age appropriate) conversation on speaker phone and show how rewarding it can be to listen actively and take turns to speak.  Model patience and good turn taking whilst out shopping and waiting in line to be attended to. 

3. An important stage of team building is to explain all of the strategies that you implement along the way.  This is important for parents as well as practitioners.  Without a sound understanding of why  the above actions are of any importance, the purpose and essence is lost.  This is also a perfect opportunity to answer the sometimes unasked question of 'what's in it for me?'.  It's a fair question and the younger the child, the more likely they may be to express a need for the answer to it.  Why should they share?  To what end?  Why is it necessary to take turns when it sometimes feels like more fun to play with a toy for as long as one might like?  What benefits are there to allowing others to speak or wait one's turn to take to the 'stage' when basking in the spotlight can feel more rewarding?

 These are feelings that occur naturally when experience of being a good team player is limited, which is of course the category most children fall into.  Reversing such questions if they do rear their heads is one way of handling them.  Responding to why should I take turns? ask how can you play a fun game of catch if you don't let someone else touch the ball?  Children are logical and respond well to questions that empower.  Give the child the opportunity to think about being in the other person's position too, 'How would you feel if nobody threw the ball to you?'.  Empathy is a great way to get young ones to understand that they need to adjust their stance in a situation.

According to Martin Edwards, CEO of the children's hospice Julia's House, building excellent teams evolves around ten core values.  He explains in his article written for the site Leader Values that 'Every different point of view could be an opportunity to learn something. Listening shows that you value the other person and that you are open to the possibility of change. Interrupting shows that you think you or your opinions are more important'.  This is a perspective we aim to challenge and change whenever the opportunity arises in SWP workshops using the strategies and plenty of discussion with empathy at the core.  Another key point Edwards hones in on is the value of Striving for Continuous Improvement which he insists every team should always be on the look out to do.  'Every team and every organisation should always be on the lookout for how it can better achieve its aims.'    

He says, 'This task is never complete: it is really a continuous process, and at its best is a constant state of mind of every team member'. The perspective that Edwards comes from builds on a foundation we like to lay at the beginning of each relationship with a group. 

We see that by asking the group to contribute and create their own rules and manifesto they are more likely to adhere to those regulations.  It's easy to encourage and steer the group in the right direction when the right questions are asked.  A great example of this would be last term when we focussed on what makes a good audience.  This was something the whole group of performers had an opinion on and were excited to contribute towards.  Now if they take too long to settle or begin to talk during a performance, a quick reminder of the group's own definition of a good audience is enough of a prompt to set things straight again. The team recognise their responsibility to one another and have naturally made it their own ethos to strive for continuous improvement. Edwards says; 'This means being open to ideas.  Ban phrases like ‘we never used to do it that way’, ‘it never worked before’. Encourage questions and phrases like, ‘what’s the next step?’ or ‘great idea: do it!’.        

The great part is that these values can be applied to teams of all ages and abilities with the right kind of demonstration and guidance.  So the next time you have a project in mind for your group, think of them as a team first and before you get started on the project, lay a foundation that gels them together as a family.  You'll definitely find the end result more favourable if you have them all aiming for the stars.